Marriage is not about what you can get but what you can give. -©2010 Kristal Kleer Publishing

Finger-pointers need not to forget; there are no re-actions except they are preceded by your actions.. Don’t judge the reactions of others until you’ve rightfully measured your actions. - ©2010 Kristal Kleer Publishing

A few scriptures to shed light on the quote:

“Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. ” (Romans 12:16–18, KJV)

“Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see YHWH: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of YHWH; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears. ” (Hebrews 12:14–17, KJV)

“That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of YHWH. ” (Ephesians 6:3–4, KJV)

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of YHWH of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in YHWH, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” (1 Peter 3:1-7, KJV)

“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. ” (Luke 6:31, KJV)

“For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. ” (Matthew 7:2–5, KJV)

Wife of a prophet

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Things aren’t always what they appear…

1Samuel
9 After they had eaten and drunk in Shiloh, Hannah rose. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat beside the doorpost of the temple of YHWH.
10 She was deeply distressed and prayed to YHWH and wept bitterly.
11 And she vowed a vow and said, “O YHWH of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to YHWH all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head.”
12 As she continued praying before YHWH, Eli observed her mouth.
13 Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman.
14 And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.”
15 But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before YHWH.
16 Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.”
17 Then Eli answered, “Go in peace, and the El of Yisreyah grant your petition that you have made to him.”
18 And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

Be careful that you know for certain what you see is TRULY what you see.

John 7:24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.

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Sex, Love and Freedom

John 8:36 (ESV)
36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

The Father impressed upon me to prepare a blog series dealing with relationships.

As believers in YHWH and followers of the messiah, Satan will do whatever it takes to derail us from the walk we have undertaken. He will use any and every opportunity to undermine that walk and to bring us back into subservience to him..

One major way for many believers, including myself, is through their relationships.

Relationships are extremely important to the father and he has mapped out a way for us to have healthy relationships. It would we obvious if we are having problems in this arena it is because we are failing to do things his way…

So what is his way? Lets start from the beginning.

Psalm 8:4 (ESV)
4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?

“And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” ” (Genesis 3:8–9, ESV)

The first relationship he established was between himself and Mankind. This would be the root of every relationship. Oneness with the Father. Without this every relationship you embark upon WILL MOST CERTAINLY FAIL….

Now the father doesn’t count failure as man does. There are many “marriages” that are 30+ years and running yet the spouses despise each other and what they really have is a civil union or a business arrangement, but not a marriage. This is a failed marriage in his eyesight yet the world would applaud them because they have “Stayed Together” for so long…

Now upfront I will share the #1 cause of relationship failure and we will delve into some more intricate parts as we move forward. I will share my experiences and some of what I have endured for I know many many people have experience similar if not the SAME things…

Now, what is the #1 cause for relationship failure… SELFISHNESS. Thats it. Plain and simple. It’s selfishness.

Now lets start digging…

Let me tell you about me and my experience. I hope that in reading this you will find yourself and take some notes and take the time to repair an ailing relationship or build proper and right relationships.

Specifically I am speaking of close intimate relationships between the opposite sexes… However the principles can be applied to any relationship.

My life would be the epitome of what NOT TO DO. LOL.

I have been married 3 times all 3 have ended up in divorce. I have had 3 serious relationships with women that I Loved immensely that also ended in failure.

When I was 15 years old The Father shared with me that the failure of any relationship was rooted in selfishness. However, though armed with that information I did nothing to ensure I was not a selfish man and instead acted selfishly in each and every one of those relationships.

Primarily I am speaking to men as most of what I will share will be from a male perspective though I will share insights I have learned from Women, married and single.

As a young child I was molested from age 4 till age 10. By both males and females. SO from a young age, selfishness, self centeredness and the pursuit of lust was ingrained in me. If it had not been for YHWH’s saving grace, I would have gone through much more. It was receiving his word that allowed me at age 10 to say No More to the abuse, yet the seeds had been planted.

At age 10 I learned how to masturbate and thus fell into a self-indulgent, self-pleasuring lifestyle. At age 7 I was introduced to Porn Magazines so that set the stage for constant visual and mental barrage and at age 14 I was introduced to porn movies.

WHEW!!!. I was set up to fail at an early age by Satan. Yet I will say it didn’t get as bad as it could have been because of YHWH’s saving grace…

SO I return to my opening salvo. Relationship with YHWH is the key to a successful relationship. If it had not been for my relationship with him, no matter how distant or close it had been I would have been much much worse than I was.

Over the years I have been able to summarize what men look for in a woman and what women look for in a man to 2 simple things….

Men look for the following in women:

1 – Companionship

2 – Safety

Women look for 2 main things in Men

1 – Companionship

2 – Security

I find it interesting with all the garbage that is spewed in the world that men and women seek after the same things… Everyone has this dream of a companion they can share everything with and whom will never leave them nor forsake them (Safety/security)

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. ” (Proverbs 31:11, ESV)

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” ” (Hebrews 13:5, ESV)

When one is more concerned about what they can GET from their mate rather than what they can GIVE to their mate they have, without a doubt, created a recipe for failure…

“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Master Yahushua, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” ” (Acts 20:35, ESV)

Companionship…

It means many things to many people. For some its that person who listens to you when you have a hard day and soothes your pain. For others it’s that buddy in the kitchen. Still for some it’s someone whose feet you can sit and receive from the father and likewise you can share what he has given you to them…

Every one of us sees companionship in a different light and has different expectations from our mate of what would fulfill that companionship need. One key element in relationship is communication. For our relationship with YHWH he has 66 books of what he desires from and for us. Likewise we should also communicate with our mates what it is we desire of and for them.

I know personally I was told by one of the women I was involved in that she needed consistency from me. At that time I was acting as a double minded man, dealing with her treacherously. All she asked of me was consistency. I chose to operate in my flesh and not meet that need and wound up losing what was important to me.

She communicated her need, yet I chose to act selfishly and refused her that request. Though giving it to her would have been an easy thing I made a choice to walk in my flesh…

Notice I said, “walk in my flesh…..”

The scripture teaches us:

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ” (Galatians 5:16, ESV)

It is a desire of the flesh to be self minded.

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Messiah Yahushua, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. ” (Romans 8:1, King James Version)

How does this apply? If you are walking after YHWH’s spirit there is no way your mate will find fault in you as you will be honoring her/him in like manner as YHWH expects of you…

“For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. ” (Romans 8:5–6, King James Version)

I don’t think I need to explain this one. If you are following me this passage explains itself…

If you handle your relationship in a fleshly manner, death is the end result, however if you let the spirit of YHWH lead and guide you your relationships will have LIFE AND PEACE….

I’d like to introduce another thought…

Most of us have no desire to be ALONE. we seek people to spend time with, fellowship with and/or have relationship with.

I’d like to share something the father gave me. Loneliness is Selfishness.

Loneliness –

1 a : being without company : lone
b : cut off from others : solitary
2 : not frequented by human beings : desolate
3 : sad from being alone : lonesome
4 : producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation

For most the idea/emotion of loneliness is found in the last 2 definitions..

But I posit it is rooted in selfishness.

Questions like
when will I ever have someone to love ME?
when will I ever have someone to spend MY life with?
when will I ever have someone to meet MY needs?
when will I ever have someone to stand by MY side?

Now these may be valid question, but notice I, Me and My are the key words. These concerns are focused on you and what YOU WANT..

What about what you can do for others.

Who can you take the time to love on and share the love of YHWH with?
Who can you take the time to spend time with and pour into them?
Who can you take the time to find our their needs and meet them?
Who’s side are you standing by?

It’s an old saying, you need to be the person you want…

Loneliness is rooted in self!!!! WHat you want, what you need, what you desire…

TBC – I’ll pick up on security next time..

I Love you all

-Bryan

“For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. ” (Psalm 107:9, ESV)

“I long for your salvation, O YHWH, and your law is my delight. ” (Psalm 119:174, ESV)

“Draw near to YHWH, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ” (James 4:8, ESV)

“and he went out to meet Asa and said to him, “Hear me, Asa, and all Judah and Benjamin: YHWH is with you while you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you. ” (2 Chronicles 15:2, ESV)

Until next time

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Everything in life is black and white, although you visually see life in full color. – © 2010 Kristal Kleer Publishing

 

 

Deuteronomy 30:15–19 (KJV)

15 See, I have set before thee this day life and good, and death and evil;

 

16 In that I command thee this day to love YHWH thy Father, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and YHWH thy Father shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.

 

17 But if thine heart turn away, so that thou wilt not hear, but shalt be drawn away, and worship other gods, and serve them;

 

18 I denounce unto you this day, that ye shall surely perish, and that ye shall not prolong your days upon the land, whither thou passest over Jordan to go to possess it.

 

19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

 

The masses may love to live in what they consider the grey areas however, the Father hasn’t created any such thing. Grey areas are merely a figment of wicked men’s imaginations which are exalted above the very knowledge of YHWH..

 

I recall the Father explicitly declaring that he preferred man hot or cold.. lukewarm is not his taste.

 

Revelation 3:15–16 (KJV)

15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. 16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.  NO GREY…

 

GREY AREAS lend to double mindedness.. They are areas where one doesn’t have to make a commitment one way or the other… Why would one desire not to commit to one thing or the other?  Because of the lack of faith in what one believes….YHWH gives wisdom to all who ask, but the masses would rather walk in their own wisdom… which is really brutish fools play.

 

James 1:5–8 (KJV)

5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of YHWH, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of YHWH.

8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

 

Those who are lacking in faith, are considered the faithless and their end is destruction.

 

Revelation 21:8 (KJV)

8 But the fearful, and UNBELIEVING, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

 

Unbelieving: G571[apistos /ap·is·tos/]

1 unfaithful, faithless, (not to be trusted, perfidious). 2 incredible. 2A of things. 3 unbelieving, incredulous. 3A without trust (in YHWH).

 

THERE ARE NO GREY AREAS! We either trust the Father or we don’t.

Wife of a Prophet

 

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